Life is always trying to teach us how to be the best version of ourselves. Here are some of the top ways to get there:
1. MOVE THE EGO OUT OF THE WAY.
In every reaction, you lead with your ego or your heart. The ego is the fear-based part of the psyche that craves to feel self-important. The heart is the loved-based part of you that seeks compassion and purpose.
How do you know if you are leading with ego or heart? Intention is your tell. Ask yourself: Why am I REALLY doing this? An honest dive into your motives will deliver the answer.
Ego says, “How dare he do that to me? I’ll show him! I have to prove my point so I can win this one!” Heart says, “I am hurt, but I can’t change him. He is obviously hurting too, and I do not want to expand this negative energy. I will honor my truth, but do it with compassion.” The heart always wins.
2. TRUST YOUR GUT.
As they say, your gut reaction is usually right. Why? Because that message is from a higher place, it is from your spirit. And the spirit talks before the mind has a chance to talk you into something else. The soul’s response comes before fear and old narratives try and hijack your internal wisdom. It is when we start second guessing, becoming afraid and asking for everyone’s opinion that we push the voice of our inner wisdom into the 2nd row. Keep it on 1st.
3. ADMIT WHEN YOU HAVE SCREWED UP AND DO SOMETHING TO MAKE IT BETTER.
It’s not about being perfect. We all have off moments when we misinterpret a situation and react with our egos (see #1). If you are trying to lead a purposeful life, you want to show that your mistakes are not a true representation of your character.
Who you truly ARE is shown by what you do next. A person of integrity looks at his or her own actions, takes appropriate responsibility and seeks to discover what can be done to make things right. Then they actually do them.
4. PAINFUL EXPERIENCES ARE GOLDEN LESSONS.
Life brings us an ongoing, orchestrated cycle of blessings and struggles for a divine reason. We came into this life to evolve as spiritual beings. If we were not challenged, we would never grow and realize who we really are. You know this is true because you can see it in your own life.
For example: It is now obvious that painful job loss carved out a path to something better. It is evident that relationship ended because you needed to find yourself again. It is clear you are wiser, stronger and clearer because of all that has come your way.
All things are sent to us on a soul level for our own evolution. When we remember that, we can ask the Universe, “What am I supposed to learn here?” Then open up for possibilities and allow the natural flow of clarity to occur.
5. GO PLAY.
Life is meant to be fun. Then why aren’t we? Taking time to play is difficult because we are focused on producing and constantly DOing. Well how about just BEing? And being FUN?! Not only will you feel happier, but your body will release immune-boosting neurotransmitters, making you healthier. In turn, you raise the vibration of your soul – which contributes to the happiness of the entire planet. Yes! More, please!
6. STOP TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY.
Others’ reactions to you are reflections of their own narratives about life. Hurt people hurt people. Happy people make others happy.
Next time someone responds to you with judgment, take a deep breath and interrupt your mind’s intent on making it about you. Do not let their words create an emotional carnival in your body that releases stress hormones and pain. Realize this is a beautiful lesson about turning inward for peace instead of outward for validation. Tell yourself “That is about THEM, not about ME.” Shake it off. Then move on with what you know to be true and beautiful about you . . . and let THAT stick.
7. YOU ARE 100% IN CHARGE OF THE WAY YOU FEEL.
No one is capable of making you feel a certain way. Your emotions are a result of your own interpretations. Your response takes this course: thought > subconscious search through file drawers in the psyche > belief > emotion > physical sensation. Does it make you feel bigger or smaller?
If it is bigger, you found a positive file and jumped on the Happy Train! If it is “smaller,” you found a negative file and jumped on the Pain Train. We need to get you off.
Look at the trigger and realize what YOUR emotional files decided it meant. Remember that pain does not have to belong to you (# 6). Rework it. Pick a new file and flip your feelings. Pull up a positive compliment someone has given you or a super proud memory and expand that in your heart for one minute. There. You did it! You completely took charge of the way you feel, which confirms how powerful you really are. Now go be amazing!
Dr. Karin Luise is an award-winning author, therapist, whole life coach and host of the Dr. Karin Show on thelightersidenetwork.com. Visit her website at DoctorKarin.com. Connect with her on facebook @Dr.Karin, on Twitter/Instagram at DoctorKarin, or email her at Karin@DoctorKarin.com.