One of the most common struggles I hear from clients is this: “I feel like I’ve lost myself. I don’t know who I really am.” Maybe for years, you have been raising children, running a business or taking care of a sick parent. Perhaps you have been floating without really knowing where to land. Or maybe you are newly single, looking for a new lease on life and a purpose that truly fulfills you. Truth is . . . you are looking for YOURSELF.
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First, why does finding yourself really matter? When we feel disconnected from our true essence, we feel more sadness, lack of purpose and low self-worth. We exude a sense of insecurity and feel unable to trust ourselves.
Research shows that when we are not living as our true selves, we can experience a sense of alienation, confusion and heightened anxiety. Persistently looking outside of ourselves for direction and validation creates a feeling of desperation and disconnection within us.
It becomes almost impossible to find inner peace or to live as our highest selves. And often, we become physically sick.
What keeps us from living life as our true selves? FEAR. Fear of rejection. Fear of not being loved. Fear of getting it wrong. We don’t believe in ourselves because somewhere along the way we were made to feel inadequate.
Most of us were trained as children to look outside our own wisdom for direction, instead of relying on the impulses of our own hearts. The truth is, your wisest sage is the voice of your own soul. Your intuition is your inner shaman.
You were born as your TRUE SELF, but along the way, you stopped trusting the way you feel and started hushing your own inner voice. If you are stuck, let’s find some ways to help you live like the real you right now.
HERE ARE 5 WAYS TO DISCOVER WHO YOU REALLY ARE:
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1) Stop asking for others’ opinions. Go all day without asking anyone else’s opinion on your personal decisions. Instead, go with what feels best to. Rely on your own wisdom and don’t second guess the voice that speaks first – your own intuition.
2) Use positive words about yourself. Every time you say the words “I am…,” you are creating your future. Stop yourself from self-criticism (e.g., “I am so stupid”) and start boosting your own existence (e.g., “I am figuring this out”). You will start to feel a major shift in self-love that will recreate you from the inside out.
3) Follow your imagination. I have a secret to tell you. Your imagination is your intuition brainstorming. The real you is using your imagination to dream bigger, invent fun and explore your own desires. Don’t shush the ideas that come to you. Entertain them. Write them down. Decide that you are going to let the real you flow with color, play and uniqueness.
4) Ask yourself three times. When you are trying to figure out what you want, whether it be where to travel, what to eat or which group to join, find your truth. Do this by asking yourself three times, slowly,
1. “Self, what do you REALLY want?” Let go of the belief that you cannot trust yourself.
2. “What do you REALLY want?” Move everyone else’s opinions out of the way.
3. “What do you REALLY want?” You should feel your answer immediately coming up from your core. Trust it.
5) Say what you mean and don’t apologize. Say “yes” when you mean “yes,” and “no” when you mean “no.” Even if it disagrees with the person in front of you, speak with truth. Then do not apologize or self-criticize. Keep a spirit of love that flows with honesty. The more you do this, the more natural it will become to trust yourself and love your own choices.
The most beautiful thing about showing up as your real self is that the Universe will meet you with a real match every time.